It was a cold and miserable photo shoot in a dingy school cafeteria. I had the chicken pox and naively feared my condition would be noticeable. As a fourth-grader I had failed to understand the substandard print quality of local newspaper, not to mention the utter lack of readership.
I parted ways with my Honda Civic in 2007, selling it to a co-worker. My small, black hatchback – known as Webster – was replaced by a much larger Toyota Tacoma. I sold Webster to a co-worker who didn’t really abide by the concept of locking her car. She also had a tendency of leaving her purse in her car. One evening, a couple of tweekers took advantage of this open door policy. Driving away in the Civic, they deposited contents of the purse out the window as they rummaged through it. Just down the street they hit something and totaled the car. The demise of Webster was an unfortunate ending to a hard-working vehicle that bridged the gap from a $3,500 used Ford Escort to a brand new $20K truck. You will be remembered friend.
The official soundtrack of our Spring Break trip to Gulf Shores, Alabama in 1995 was D. Knoll’s observations and wisdoms he spewed forth throughout the journey. Recorded on yellow legal paper, they were collected and later published as the Analects of Danfuscious. If you’d like a three-page PDF for your personal archives, you can download the Analects PDF here.
The innocent and childish nature in which the Terminal Obesity concept was created renders this an early 90s classic.
Today, it oversteps many boundaries – taste, political correctness, proper grammar – but does not prevent me from sharing it with you.
Enjoy.
Hard to believe it has been 20 years since freshman year of college and the ZOO TV concert at Busch Stadium. Probably the best concert I have ever attended and a very exciting time in life with the transition to Reinert, the start of school and seeing my favorite band in their prime. I still have the concert T-shirt. It is currently packed along with 1/2 my other stuff in a Poway, CA long-term storage container.
The level of detail here is what I like about my oldest existing cartoon: Badges on the helmets. Eyelashes. The flag on the mailbox. There’s potential here. Not sure where it went.
Appropriately counting down our remaining time in NYC required a redneck homemade calendar, a black magic marker (a felt pen), a camera, some poor lighting and a little Fort Bachmann magic. Watch the video here, or click play and then click on the YouTube logo to view directly on YouTube in a larger format:
Contact Fort Bachmann if you want a commemorative, laminated copy of the poker guide. Quantities are limited.
Angela's winning 2012 bracket
SAN DIEGO, CA – The 2012 NCAA Tourney was not very kind to the Bachmanns, but Angela (2-0) came up victorious again edging Matt (0-2) after a Kentucky Wildcats championship. After an extremely promising start, Tristan’s (0-1) bold predictions failed to bring him any high value victories. A rumor circulated during this year’s tourney that Matt did not make good on last year’s wager – and now owes Angela two dinners at the restaurant(s) of her choosing.
Close, but no cigar for Matt
Tristan's tourney debut
It’s a frequently asked question when we are out walking: “What kind of dogs (are those / is that)?”
Tired of answering with only partial confidence – “um, they are German Shepherd Mixes” – it was time to put the assumption to the test. As in DNA test. A simple cheek swab from an in-home Doggie DNA kit found in one of those catalogs containing unique and stupid gift ideas. I believe most would categorize a Doggie DNA kit under stupid. I contend it is unique – and stupid. But much fun. With anticipation we awaited the results that anticlimactically were emailed to us a few weeks after sending in the dogs’ samples. Can we trust the results? Not sure. There are some limitations with the company’s DNA database. It would be interesting to send in the samples again under different names to see if we get the same results. Without further adieu:
Sasha
We were told by the Sash’s rescue organization that she was a German Shepherd/Lab Mix. Made sense. She has classic German Shepherd facial features with the body type of a Lab. So we were a little surprised that Lab was no where to be seen in her report.
She’s more Shepherd than we realized with an interesting Doberman Pinscher ancestry.
For Sasha’s full report, download the PDF at Fort Downloads here:
Roman
The frequency of inquiries and comments about Roman are double that of the Sash – for a few reasons. Roman is usually walking out in front of me or Angela. Sasha tends to walk behind us and is less visible. Roman is more friendly and in everyone’s grill. And Roman’s ears are eye-catching to say the least. We get a lot of “is that a dingo?” comments. Actually if you Google “dingo shepherd mix” the results are a cornucopia of Romans:
Select Images from Internet Search:
Compared to these actual Roman Shots:
Nonetheless, the Dingo didn’t make Roman’s roster of ancestors.
The test revealed that Roman is a bit of a mutt with his parents consisting of German Shepherd, Boxer, Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier and Mixed Breed:
For Roman’s full report, download the PDF at Fort Downloads here:
So at the end of the day, our response that the dogs are German Shepherd Mixes holds true. Or so we think…
